Being still...

Nesting is normally what pregnant women do when they are preparing for the arrival of a baby.

I can't stop nesting- and no... I'm not pregnant.... I'm unemployed and have a horrible addiction to cleaning, organizing and making our home feel homey. It's been about a month and a half since I left my job at Lighthouse, where I learned so many things and met amazing people through that wonderful and God-filled oasis.  However, I knew God was calling me to use my gifts and passions in a different form... that I've partially found in coaching--and I'm still trying to figure out what else to pair it with. Andrew has been so gracious in allowing me to leave my job to figure out what I truly want and what I'm called to do in this earthly life.

What have I been doing with all my free time? It's really amazing how every day gets filled with something.  We have our cute little puppy Chloe that needs constant attention and exercising... grocery shopping, planning dinners for the week, cleaning, laundry, coaching every day (which is the highlight of my day:)) and lunch with friends seems to fill my week pretty well.  I have also been substitute teaching at Eastern Christian, which I absolutely LOVE!  I secretly hope teachers call out so I can get called in.

I've also been reading... a ton- and for someone who hated to read in high school and college, I feel pretty cool that I have three books that I'm currently reading and recommend to everyone!

Bread and Wine by Shauna Niequist
Sacred Marriage by Gary Thomas
The Great Gatsby by F. Scott Fitzgerald

Also my devotional that I'm reading is Simply Sacred by Gary Thomas (he was the speaker for the Lighthouse banquet this year and I'm hooked on his books).

I have no idea where I will end up, but what I've learned is that a career does not define who I am as a person.  I am a child of God, a daughter, sister, wife, aunt, coach, and friend. God blessed me with a life I did not deserve, my aim is to glorify Him in whatever I do. Even in being a stay at home wife for the time being. I tend to worry and get nervous that I will never find another job- which when I say that out loud, I know it's not true. I trust that the Lord has a bigger plan for me that I can't see yet.

This season I'm in is beautiful. I need only be still.

Still trying to love NJ...

It sure has been awhile since I've updated this.

Since the last update I have started a new job at Lighthouse Pregnancy Resource Center. It's a crisis pregnancy center for women who may be considering abortion. We help them understand their options, perform ultrasounds so they can see their babies progress, and counsel them along the way. My title is Development Coordinator. I help/assist the Director with all the fundraising that we do and the events that go a long with it. Our most recent fundraiser is our Baby Bottle Boomerang, (kind of like the Peter Fish idea for my midwestern CRC friends:)). We distribute bottles with hopes of them coming back filled with change:).

So far I'm liking this job, but I'm still considering if I want to get my masters and to really find what makes me happy in life. I honestly wish I could be a full-time/year round coach. Sports/athletics make me the most happy and there's nothing I would love more than to be able to wear work out clothes every day!

I'm working out about 3 times a week at my friend Mandy's underground fitness. It is SUPER challenging, but she makes it so much fun I can't resist driving the 20 minutes to get there and work up a sweat! Andrew and I are still in the midst of our beach body competition--but I'm pretty sure I already crushed him by # of workouts completed!

I am traveling back to the homestead next Friday for about a week- first stop- my bff Kelsey's Bachelorette party!!! Can't even wait to see her and people I've missed so dearly and to celebrate her. Then to Munster to see family and back up to Mich for Kelsey's big day! Can't wait to be with people I've missed so much! Not really looking forward to the drive BY MYSELF but I am excited to listen to the audio book I bought- Bossy Pants by Tina Fey.. hopefully that'll help the drive go by!


Later Days

STOP Swearing!

Everyone asks: "How's the job going?"

My response: "Uhhhhh, minus the money hungry, swearing, divorcees... it's okay?"

Do you ever get that feeling where you're surrounded by people who aren't Christians (or maybe they are but they're just really mean) and you feel completely out of place?  That's how I feel. It's a different world of which I've never been a part of before and God is definitely stretching me out of my comfort zone.  I have had the opportunity to meet some of the other staff members (who are married, with a family, and very nice) and are believers.  I have loved getting to know of few of these people and seeing how they ended working here.  The highlight of my day is when the mailman Jim drops off our mail (you can see how bleak my job is), he is the sweetest man and makes me want to be a mail woman (kind of).

Aside from work, I've been working out at Mandy's Underground Fitness. Andrew and I are in a competition to see who can get the best beach body by June 1st. I'm pretty sure I'm going to win.. but he's pretty competitive so we'll see:). 


My dad has been gone 7 months now... it's insane to me how quickly that time has passed by and it still feels like yesterday that he was here. I hate that everyone has moved on but I'm still here trying to make sense of all of this. I will never get over it, but I will get through it with God's help and strength. 

Thank you Lord for calling ME by name.

NJ- The best state to raise a family?

Andrew thought it funny and essential that I was informed of the following:

"New Jersey is on the receiving end of many jabs—high taxes, congested highways, Jersey Shore—but it turns out the Garden State is the best place to raise a healthy, well-rounded child."

You gotta be kidding me! I know I've ripped on Jersey a lot, and the traffic/mobs of people everywhere doesn't give me the most peaceful mindset, but there is some good here too. Just have to look a little deeper:).

I finally was hired by a CPA firm 20 minutes from home as their new receptionist for their busy season. So as of now it's just a temp job, but it's a blessing we've been praying for since I moved out here. It makes it a little easier to feel like part of the community and to meet new people and be helpful in so many different ways. Taking a job that I was unfamiliar with was very intimidating for me, but I'm adjusting and learning quickly. It's a fun feeling knowing that what I'm doing is NOT what I plan to do for a long time and that I know this is not my passion...at all. I'm so excited to figure out where I will work next!

Thanks for all your thoughts and prayers and congratulations on my new job. It's a fun little adventure I'm on.

:)

English Muffin Toast!

It sure has been awhile since I've blogged about anything.. ..

Christmas in Indiana seeing my family and a handful of friends that mean the world to us.

New Years in Grand Rapids for a wonderful wedding spending quality time with friends we so dearly miss, not to forget a much needed trip to Wolfgangs for English Muffin Toast that finally satisfied my craving!

A trip to Vermont with my new additions to what I call family-add a hike and a few hilarious but painful falls on the slippery ice, a hot tub, and good food made for a great weekend.

Minus my insomnia I seem to be having far too often lately.

This brings me to the present where job searching has become a daunting process and some days I just feel like giving up. For those who have a job..even if you hate it, you are blessed.

Andrew and I are in the (very long) process of decorating our home. I've finally realized why nothing has gotten done and that is because we have DIFFERENT ideas, likes/dislikes, opinions about everything so trying to decorate has become a nice challenge. I'm more of an eclectic- let's find old stuff and make it our own type of person (which takes time and talent), whereas Andrew is more traditional in his ideas which could make the process a lot quicker. So, how do we combine the two? I can't wait to have our place exactly how we both would like it to look...

Dreams are a world entirely my own....

I'm a dreamer. And not in your 'I dream of climbing Mount Everest one day' way. I'm a literal dreamer. I dream every night and will remember all of my dreams in the morning.  They consist of the crazy, out of control, where did my mind come up with that dreams and some that are so realistic I wake up wondering if it actually happened.

Our mind is a wonderful and mysterious gift from God.  It's crazy to think that things that are going on in my life that I think don't bother me, will show up in my dreams and remind me that they're still there and ignoring them won't make them go away.

I'll be the first to admit that I hide a lot of my feelings, and don't openly share how I'm doing or what's going on in my life...even to the people closest to me.  And that hurts them. The truth is that I hate being vulnerable, which I'm sure a lot of you would say the same about yourself.  It's like I'm waiting to be asked how I'm doing, but what I should be doing is sharing and asking for advice. Rather than hold it in until I can't hold it in anymore.

Andrew showed me this week that he is my biggest fan and will always be here for me, encouraging, supporting, and continually loving me no matter what. That is the most awesome feeling. But, what's even cooler and what I think a lot of us forget is that our number one fan since before we were born is still cheering for us even in the midst of our mistakes, pain, and suffering.

On this beautiful Sunday morning, I was reminded again of God's beautiful creation as Andrew and I hiked up a mountain that overlooked New Jersey and New York. Just like that mountain that we had to hike up to get the beautiful view, in our lives we must work hard and never give up on the dreams that will make us stronger and more loving individuals.

God is love.

Think less but see it grow..

Too often I find myself wondering and worrying and thinking TOO much about what the heck I'm supposed to be doing in this town, in this place I haven't quite called my home.

Why is it that we always want what we can't have? I was so ready to grow up and be done with school and all the responsibilities that come with it, but I'd give anything to be back there with the routine, crazy late nights and friends all around me. What is my purpose here? And when did I become an adult? I know there is something greater waiting for me but I have to trust God first that He knows what He is doing in my life.

What is your purpose in this life?

One of the things I love and dislike most about myself is the fact that I am a very perceptive and compassionate person. I always want people to feel welcomed, to not be left out and to not be lonely. I become saddened by just observing people who may not have family or friends and it frustrates me that I can't do more to ensure that people become accepted by society.  This world, filled with so many people is a lonely lonely place for many individuals. A lot of us may not realize this because of the mass amounts of friends we have and the loving family that would never let us become lonely or ALONE.  People who are marginalized by society have been pushed away by whatever family they came from.  One of the groups most prone to this type of marginalization are those who have physical and mental disabilities.  I have been applying to many jobs that focus on this population in great detail and help them lead self-determined lifestyles and help them to feel like a part of the community. I pray that I will be able to work in those people's lives one day.  We really just need to think less and do what Jesus would do.

I want to make a difference in this world.
Who have you included today?